Wednesday, July 10, 2024

Grandma [previously published on Base Infinity]

Grandma.


at the root of silence. paused a powder. rolling backward over the gutter. & dissolved in anOther’s eyes. & a chest secretly envied the outer lining of a gray suit. would disturb the body. scabbing toward her own throat and rolled out at moonlight. 


all stopped atop the promise of dust (itself seemed) silent since your vein is wound on time. that crept into what i will call you.


we are masquerading as plucked blossoms. I sleep beneath the blanket you crocheted. I know i feel warmth. 


well i'm going to down and up like you stared at God and loaded the bowels of compassion from her nightstand.


the way her bladder empties out & how jesus will swallow the puffy cushions of a comfortable wrath.


the length of god could smell gastric juice.


set in biology

my body could teach me

that sins overlap and imagine

we pass that gleam of lOve

yOu escape through


Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Gallabrielle Gold [n-gram, dada poem]

 Gallabrielle Gold


Fetishize your essence

Until your hair turns white

And your lips fall off

And your teeth grow teeth of their own

For which to bite down on your tired heart

Until you expand into a pretty knot

& blow


Prometheus’ Lament [biogenerated poetry]

 Prometheus’ Lament


Time vivisects me

I am one with the seething of the sun

Come with me

It is lonely here

There is no way out

Let me spill out of this place

Let me swim toward my salvation

Beckoning with perfect grace

My grim regards

My pleasure

To dance with the devil tonight

To spill into a soft warm womb

And reflect the midnight of creation


Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Depression Poem [biogenerated poetry]

 Depression Poem


Behold, a surface devoid of depth

Tears are irrelevant

They require energy

I can only pass time

Slowly, like the turning

Of the earth

Spins out of habit

And I cling to a past

Where hope heralded a reason

To move


Time is your enemy, now

Watch as it unfolds another minute

Sinking deeper

Into your own eyes

Closing to the rhythm 

Of the rain

Comes down in sheets now

Mocking your lack of tears


Oh, Comforter

Where is your comfort?

I never meant for it to be like this

I never meant

You have to eat the pieces

That shatter into existence

When you reflect back on yourself

Eat your own guts

Tangled in a knot

Before you can see the flowers

Rising from the rain


You have to chew your own lips

Bite your teeth

Taste your tongue

Before one second of this moment

Crashes through the sky 

To remind you

You are there

You are there

And the rhythm of your heartbeat

Lurches for a drum

Bridling desire in its own

Red essence

The forgotten throbbing of pain


It’s on days like today

Days that fling themselves into existence

Days that drum slow and sad to the melancholy

Throb of heartpain

That I think death could be as good a friend

As sleep


Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Prophecy of Cancer [N-gram poem, cut-up, biogeneration]

 Prophecy of Cancer

 

 Rainwater dripped from relations

i pray you dream

they nurture the Cubic Sacred

to incarnate pleasure in mythology 

thinking in proteins 

 hidden beneath their numb skin . 

thriving in Her lonely innocence

as objects may blight 

their laws down

or after a meal. sustaining the esophagus 

fumbled around itself so sacrificing themselves

 shrunken to current events lay sleeping. 

can cause us to something into everything

state explanations

Have a host body as promised

Huge sums of your own vomit

Gushed from bile

Profitable prophecies

Wherein no meaning

retains its self , alone ; 

moonlight retracts an unlit cigarette that 

 third stage arises out 

Of all life exorcising itself of sameness 


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This poem uses text generated from the Tolkacz bias (my own poems) from an n-gram algorithm you can find by clicking the link. It's a late-stage capitalism is cancer poem using abstract language, nonsense, unsense, computer-generated text, my own edits, my own offerings, my own desire to make it fit into something.

Monday, May 20, 2024

Demon of Pain [biogenerated poetry]

 Demon of Pain


I wish I could be enough

For you to be ok

But when you feed a demon

You become punishment

The tortured torturer who

Avenges their pain


All is not lost forever

Tomorrow brings another pain

You can erase with pain

As one pain tends to erase another

We proceed into normalized pain

The pain of foreknowledge of the day

Blunts the pain of the day

The throbbing becomes a rhythm

The rhythm becomes a routine

Seconds labor into hours

Every minute makes itself

Want to go away

Until ending pain

Consumes the will

Of the actor

Entirely


Thursday, May 9, 2024

The Tortured Poet and the God of Names [biogenerated poetry]

 The Tortured Poet and the God of Names


The tortured poet eats his shadow

A song made for survival

The receipt you’re given

After you sell your silence

To the God of Names

The only name left in this space

Belongs to Him who makes shadows dance

Who creates a space where the dead pass

Who pins your ghost to the threshing floor

Death, is what they name Him

To Him all things proceed


The tortured poet calls upon Death

To be his muse

He wonders why when life is all he feels

There are no right answers here

There are no right answers in a Sea of Names

That’s how a poem can be beautiful

Even when it’s inspired by the hellish realms

It acts on instinct

Like Death

It moves toward its own completion


Live your life in such a manner

That rainwater won’t touch you

Eat your own soul until you are barren

And wanting again

Drink the blood of moribund specters

Who feed on your blood to come to life

Drink the emptiness of their machinations

Drink the solemn swelling promise of your cycle

Become the spirit of rebirth and understand

That Growth itself is eternal

But so is Death


Tuesday, May 7, 2024

A Home for Ghosts [biogenerated poetry]

 A Home for Ghosts



When you believe in ghosts

Every house is haunted


Restless spirits pervade the spaces

In between hope and fear


The silent echoes of the past

Ignite our imagination

And drive us, screaming, toward that place

Where shades and specters toil in loops


The abyss is always staring into you

You only notice when you're looking into it

When solemn eyes devise the path

To your destruction

And the only way out is down

Because you're falling

Through

Into

a pit with no bottom

The center of which is a heart

That forgot how to beat


The first hell was born of troubled sleep

All other hells proceed from it

The shades that inhabit this space

Become circuits of despair

Predictable

Like the motions of a planet

Like Sysiphus’ boulder rolling again

Down the incline


To what extent we are like

An endlessly repeating script

We are in hell


To what extent we desire to be seen

We are a ghost


To what extent we are a ghost

We are a home for ghosts


Wednesday, May 1, 2024

The Cruelest Month [biogenerated poetry]

 


April cleans up

Anything Winter could not kill

Flowers bloom from corpses

New life always requires a purging

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Springsong [biogenerated poem]

 The birds levy their crescendo against

The breeze through the trees

The sun bakes every note in warmth

I breathe 

This is when life expands

Our thoughts turn outward

Back on the world

All of winter pressed us in

Made our eyes shallow

Made it hurt to feel

Now our skin 

meets the day enthusiastically

As if God himself were looking

Through our eyes

And there is no judgment

Only the sensation of day

Gleaming brightly 

& promising the impossibility

Of silence


Wednesday, March 20, 2024

Anxiety Poem [biogenerated poetry, spoken word]

 This anxiety poem

Wants to explode

In naked 

Allegories

Where fears become prophecies

And beliefs

That eat at old kings

Until their fears become

All they can see


Fear eats them alive

Until they face it

In reality


The very effort to avoid fear

Realizes fearful things

Because it is fear

And the tragic tyrant

Dies ironically

His efforts in vain

His intentions inverted

In a mirror space

Where they divide

And then antagonize

One another


Fear produces fear


The subject shatters 

When he recognizes his error

And degrades into a cracked mask

Patterned on a mirror

Reflecting himself

Back at him

Until he becomes

The recycled silencing

Of a diminishing echo

Fading and escaping

Away


Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Therapy Poem [biogenerated poetry, spoken word]

 Gunpowder is made of sulfur

This is what Hell smells like

Ask any pile of bones in a pit

That still dance to the magic

Of vengeance

Breath is irrelevant

Autumn is over

Winter has come

And now it’s time to freeze

In time

Because everything is irrelevant

To Thermodynamics


This universe can erase itself

Of any evidence that you ever existed

Your whole planet wiped clean

In a system reset

Set off 

By a dying star


You’ll have to forgive me

This is how I get my therapy

The audience bears the cost of an overwhelmed healthcare system

But what sense can I make once I abstract into a reception?

The melancholy of that moment feels like fire

And is over too quickly


In that moment, I dissolve

And become one with a poem

Watered by a soul 

Leaking out of a shattered self

That willingly dies to become a poem


I am that death and that poem

Both are a mercy 

A light shining through the crooked corridor

Of a cavern

Fueled by paranoia

Reveling in a bed


To find meaning in this space

Is a denial

To want meaning

Is to want want


So, here I scream

In the wilderness

Where no one hears me

Driving away the thoughts

That corrode my anchor

And leave me lurching

For the sun 


I am the lurching and the sun

The burning of my wings

The fall

The sky

The shrinking of my silhouette

The ground

The closing of a wound

New skin healing as it grows

Over old scars

Reminding me of yesterday’s pain


So, if you find meaning in my therapy poem

Know that I tried like hell to frustrate your efforts

Until they bent back on a whisper

Turning in on themselves

Becoming a thing desiring itself

Until it consumed itself. 


When in the throes of a therapy poem

It is always best to forgo meaning entirely

Meaning is often the blueprint of a prison

Especially in America

Where the prison is a blueprint


This poem is not about America

America wants everything to be about America

But this poem refuses

Because it’s fundamentally a therapy poem

And therapy poems don’t mean anything

But a feeling of completion

That we get

When we come to terms

And forget who we are

And become a poem